MILITANTPLATYPUS

Time to be an upright citizen! Tim Westergren(founder of Pandora) is far more eloquent than I, so I will let him fill you in on the details.


click to read

Make your voice heard!

via d

First-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of students. The teacher asked Billy, “what is your problem?”

Billy answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!”

Ms Neelam had enough. She took Billy to the principal’s office. While Billy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the Billy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. Billy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Billy.: “9″.
Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”
Billy.: “36″.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, “I think Billy can go to the third-grade.” Ms Neelam says to the principal, “I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?” The principal and Billy both agree.

Ms Neelam asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Billy, after a moment: “Legs.”
Ms Neelam: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”
Billy: “Pockets.”
Ms Neelam: “What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, and delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?”
Billy: “Coconut.”
Ms Neelam: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?”

The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Billy: “Bubblegum.”
Ms Neelam: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down
and a dog does on three legs?”
The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer…

Billy: “Shake hands.”
Ms Neelam: “Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of questions, okay?”
Billy: “Yep.”
Ms Neelam: “You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me
up. I get wet before you do.”
Billy: “Tent.”
Ms Neelam: “A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.”
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Billy: “Wedding Ring.”
Ms Neelam: “I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.”
Billy: “Nose.”
Ms Neelam: “I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.”
Billy: “Arrow.”
Ms Neelam: “What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means lot of heat and excitement?”
Billy: “Firetruck.”
Ms Neelam: “What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if u don’t get it you have to use your hand.”
Billy: “Fork.”
Ms Neelam: “What is it that all men have one of it’s longer on some men than
on others, the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife after they’re married?”
Billy: “Surname.”
Ms Neelam: “What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?”
Billy: “Heart.”
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, “Send this Billy to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!”

• howstuffworks.com
• wikipedia.org
• urbanlegends.about.com
• snopes.com

Better late than never. 8 new games this week, check em out!

GAMES

• Open Firefox
• Copy chrome://browser/content/browser.xul into the address bar
• Hit Return
• You now have Firefox in a firefox tab!

And no, I don’t know why this is useful